Untitled Rants.

I’ve always been the odd one out in the family. It bothers me most of the time that i’m different though none of them said much. I have to convince myself that odd in other words is extraordinary, that it is ok to be odd, that i shouldn’t feel so inferior, that i am worth it, that i’ll make it someday.I always blame them for being so perfect, but why haven’t i remembered that everyone is perfect in their own ways. If i weren’t perfect, i wouldn’t be alive in the first place. Why not spend time trying to piece the perfect me together rather than dwelling on the not so perfect me? I need to convince myself that everything will work out, one step at a time is what it takes. 

Have you ever had the feeling where you don’t feel relieved even with a good news? Even with the consent given, the usual euphoria didn’t knock on my door. I’m really looking forward to it, but there’s no motivation for me to really go for it. It feels like i put my life on hold for this. But i don’t find it worthy for me to put so much things on hold and forgo things. I’m paying the price for being so easy-going and not having mind of my own. It feels more like an obligation now. How? Someone enlighten me please.

I think depression is no joke. I feel like crying every single night without fail.